Adjusting to life in Australia
(c) 1999 The Flinders University of South Australia



Friendships and Relationships

Some of you may come from societies in which starting friendships or
continuation of an on-going friendship is based on different forms and
processes from that mostly found in Australia. Generally, in Australia,
friendships commence because of common interests (eg. common views
on, say, environmental issues or children attending the same school) or
around an activity or sport (an interest in cooking or soccer) or just
talking about one's own interests.

You may come from a society in which friendships do not have to start on
common interests or activities. Friendships start because people may just
want to know and be part of each others lives. Activities or words are less
important than knowing about the other person. Much of this could revolve
around personal details like age, employment, husband/wife, children, other
relatives or friends, food preferences, income and expenditure patterns etc,
much of which may be too intrusive for the purpose of initial interactions with
Australians. Don't be too disappointed if you find the more spontaneous
processes you may be accustomed to in starting friendships don't work as
well here. As in your country, Australians desire and value friendships.

Australian Social Customs

Here are some practical aspects of Australian social customs.

Alcohol: It's common for Australians over 18 years of age to enjoy
alcoholic drinks in social settings. You will probably find yourself at a
friend's house, a BBQ or a luncheon where people have drinks such as
beer, wine or spirits. You should not feel obliged, however, to accept an
invitation to have an alcoholic drink. Simply saying "no thanks" or
"Something non-alcoholic will be fine, thank you" will suffice and people
will not take offence. There are heavy penalties for driving under the
influence of alcohol. It can cost you thousands of dollars and you can lose
your licence and even go to gaol.

Bargaining: Bargaining is not generally used in Australian shops. The
prices marked are the prices at which goods are sold. It is advisable to
shop around as prices do vary. Australians usually bargain for items which
are expensive (like a car, a sound system, furniture, etc). You can also
bargain at 'Trash and Treasure' markets and 'garage sales'.

Code of Dress: Neat casual clothing is worn on all but a few formal
occasions. There are very few times when a student would be required to
wear a suit. On campus most students wear jeans or other casual trousers or
skirts. Ties and jackets are rarely worn by students on campus. Wear
clothing which you feel comfortable in. There is no need to conform to the
Australian style of dress if you do not wish to do so.

Conversation: Don't be worried if you speak English as a second language
or have a 'non-Australian' accent. Australians generally do not expect you to
sound like them. In fact, they often show interest in different accents and
admiration for people who speak more than one language.

Equality: In Australia each man and woman is considered the equal of
everyone else. Wealth and position are not regarded as justification for
treating another person as less than equal.

Informality: Australians tend to be casual, both in dress and speech. Most
Australians greet each other by using first names. With teaching staff and
older people, however, use their title and surname (eg. Ms Black, Dr Brown,
Professor Green) until you are invited to use their first name. You may be
surprised to see students being very informal with lecturers and others in
positions of authority. This is usual and acceptable in Australia for
people who know each other well.

Initial greetings: Australians tend to greet a person they are meeting for
the first time with a firm handshake and/or prolonged eye contact. This is their
way of showing warmth and respect. It is well meaning but it may contrast with the
traditional forms of greeting from your own country - where a display of
humility might be used to accord the other person some honour. Remember,
both forms of greeting meanwell.

Invitations: It is considered rude not to keep an appointment once you have
accepted an invitation. If you do not wish to accept an invitation, the
Australian custom is to say so immediately or let someone know as the date
for the activity approaches.

Meals: If someone asks you to go to their house for something to eat, it's
normal to ask them you can contribute by bringing some food or drink, etc.
If they say "No", it may be advisable to take a bottle of wine or non-alcholic
drink. If  someone invites you to "bring a plate" they are asking you to bring
some food. Ask what they would prefer you to bring - an entree, main course or
dessert. After a meal it is polite to ask your hosts if they would like
some help with the washing up. More than likely they will refuse. Ask "Are
you sure?" - they will most probably refuse your invitation to help. After
all, you're the guest! After you eat, it's expected you will stay for an
hour or two. It is polite (but not obligatory) to write a short note to your hosts
thanking them for their hospitality.

Phone before dropping in: It's polite to phone a friend before dropping in.
Ask on the telephone "Hello, it's (your name) here. Am I disturbing you?".
If your friend says "Yes, I'm busy" tell them you'll call back later. If they say
"No, you're not disturbing me", proceed with your conversation.

Punctuality: Australian people do not like to be late for appointments and
make an effort to be punctual at all times. This is particularly so for
formal occasions.

Racism: You may find some people are not willing to be friendly or to
accept you because of racial or cultural differences. Unfortunately, such
people exist in every society and should not be regarded as typical
Australians. Try not to be offended by seemingly stupid remarks or
questions about your country or customs. Australians have much to learn
from students from other countries and usually appreciate the opportunity.
There are laws in Australia which apply to people who make racist comments.
They can be fined a lot of money or be given other penalties depending upon
the severity of the comment or accusation. See the International Student
Adviser if you have any complaints or questions about racism.

Relationships with older people: In your country there might be acceptable
forms for displaying respect by the younger to the older person. In
Australia people of different ages tend to regard one another with a much
greater sense of equality. If you are a mature postgraduate international
student you may be initially conscious of this. For instance the son or
daughter of an Australian friend or neighbour may call you by your first
name. No disrespect is intended.

Servants: It is important to realise that there are virtually no servants
in Australia. Australian children are taught to be self-reliant. It is not
regarded as shameful for men and women to engage in manual work. Indeed,
many people who are wealthy or hold important positions maintain their own
gardens, do their own laundry and washing up, etc. Most husbands assist
their wives with household chores.
Students are expected to shop and cook for themselves and perform domestic
duties suitable for a share-housing situation (common to student
accommodation).

Smoking: There are strict laws in Australia which regulate cigarette, cigar
and pipe smoking. Before you smoke, make sure you are in an area where it
is allowed. You can be fined for smoking in a non-smoking area. It is
forbidden to smoke on public transport and in many buildings. If you are at
a non-smoker's house, it's not polite to light a smoke inside. You may ask,
however, if you can go outside for a cigarette. Out of politeness they may
invite you to smoke inside. It would be best, however, to refuse the offer
and go out to the front or back yard to smoke.

Status of Women: Australian women may seem more independent and
self-reliant than those in your country. You should not assume their moral
sense is any less. This reflects the relative equality of men and women in
Australia compared to many other countries. Australian women expect to be
treated as equals and will resent any suggestion that you regard them as
inferior. There are laws which promote Equal Opportunity in Australia.

Take your turn in a queue: Queuing up is part of the way of life in
Australia. You will see people standing in line waiting to be served, seeking
cash at an Automatic Teller (banking) Machine, getting on the bus, in the
University refectory, at the movies, etc. You simply join at the end of the
queue! It is considered extremely rude and impolite to join the queue
anywhere else unless you have a very good reason.

Womens' Clothing: To some, women may at times appear to dress rather
boldly. It is acceptable, particularly in student circles, for women to
wear jeans, shorts, brief tops and swimsuits. This is usually an indication
that they are comfortable in such clothing and does not mean that they are
trying to be provocative.


Australian English

- Common Expressions
Australian English has its own accent and is a little different from other
forms of the English language found abroad. That doesn't mean we cannot
understand the English used in England, USA, Canada, India, etc. WE CAN!
Australians tend to use a lot of local idiom and shortened words in
everyday speech (called 'slang'). You may even hear slang words in
tutorials (tutes) or sometimes during lectures! It may take you some time
to get used to the Australian accent itself, especially if you are
more familiar with American or English accents. Overall, you need to
remember that Australians tend to use the simplest words possible in
normal speech. It takes one or two months to adjust to Australian English.
The Australian Macquarie Dictionary is available in the Library or in bookshops
(including a pocket-size edition) and lists the meaning of most Australian
slang words and phrases. This may be useful. Some of the most commonly used
words and phrases are explained here:

   

If an Australian says "I'll shout you" or "I'll pay" it's polite to refuse
once or twice. If they insist, let them pay and offer to pay next time.

"ish" added to a word to suggest an approximation, eg. nine-ish means around
nine o'clock, blue-ish means more or less blue

Love / dear can be used as a general friendly term of address, eg. a shop
assistant may say to a customer "thanks love" or "thanks dear" when you pay
for your goods. Usually used by the older generation.

Are you right? Are you right, love? It means "yes, may I help you?" or
"Are you alright?" can be used by someone to attract your attention or to ask
you if you need help, ie. a shop assistant may say this to customers to get
their attention.

There are many more which you will learn during your stay. Australians
generally find it amusing and relate well to international students who use
some 'Aussie Slang' in their conversations!


Australians are friendly

Australians are mostly friendly and informal in their dealings with others.
They respect other people's privacy, however, and may be less forthcoming
in making the first move in social contact than what you may be accustomed to.
Don't take this to be a sign of unfriendliness. Remember, good friendships take
time to develop.


Starting a conversation
Impersonal or humorous comments are usually the means to start a
conversation with friends or acquaintances. If you are in need of information or
help it's polite to bemore formal. You will be pleasantly surprised at the willing and
generally good humoured response and assistance you will receive. Try not to judge
the Australian culture by someone who seems particularly offensive and
ill-mannered. Quite simply, there is a small percentage of people in all
cultures whose demeanour will be inappropriate at times.